Vulnerable moment.

I’ve been feeling a little lost as of late. A little overwhelmed. Feeling like I don’t have control of certain circumstances I want to.

I feel like my life has been going down one path and there is a call coming from behind me saying “Stop! You’ve been going down that path most of your life. That path is about to end. Turn back to where you came from and take the other path at the fork”.

Of course, I look at that other path, and it’s filled with unknowns. Things I’ve never faced before. Challenges I’ve never conquered. And the voice in my head keeps telling me, “It’s too much. It’s too big. It’s too scary. Why can’t you just go back to the path you knew? It was comfortable there.”

Needless to say, It’s been causing stress and anxiety. I’m walking down the nice path that’s already paved vs the one I’m being called to full of overgrown brushes and rocks to climb. The overall thought is I’ve been down the easy path. Sure, it’s had its ups and downs and it’s taken me as far as I need to go. What’s down that path is not for me. It’s time to forge a new path. One of hardship, suffering, and hard work.

Feeling anxious and stuck this morning I became overwhelmed. I stopped and prayed. I did something I’m not good at doing often. I asked for help. I called on God. I prayed for guidance and help with the things that seem too big for me to handle.

After that, I opened my Bible randomly not knowing where to turn in my current state of mind. That’s where I came to Proverbs 2.

So much to pull from here. So much relevance in our time today in a world full of deception and temptations. A world of people who will do anything to fulfill their fleshly desires

But for me, I’m overwhelmed by the answer to my prayer just before reading this.

Verses 1-10 hit hard as I’m seeking wisdom, knowledge, discernment, and obedience to God as I keep getting called to go down this path of the unknown. Then verse 9 sums up all I need to get through this path of the unknown.

Sometimes in life, we get to choose our paths. Other times, we have no control over the paths God leads us down. We can look down that path with fear and reservations, or with obedience and trust in God.

And to be perfectly honest, I hate being vulnerable. I hate it when I’m not strong enough. I hate it when I realize I have no control over a bad situation. I hate it when I don’t have the right answer on how to proceed. I am the captain of my ship and ill go down with it, even if it’s by my own hands! But I’ve come to realize, that’s where God needs me to be so I can see Him for who He is. He needs me to let go and say I can’t do this without you Lord. This brings me back to verse 1 which starts with “My son”.

I never had an earthly father. The closest thing I had was an abusive alcoholic who was in our house for a short time of my life. It was tough and confusing as a kid. I look back and see my entire life believing if that’s a father, I didn’t need one. I can live my life without one and do it on my own. And now that I am a father, I’ve come to realize how important it is to have one.

A father’s love for his children is not just about loving them now. It’s about giving them what they need to forge their way down their path in the future. To equip their children with the skills, knowledge, and wisdom they need to take the hard path in life. His love is passed down to his children in how he’s helped prepare them. So they can look back as adults and see their father’s love for them long after he is gone because of what he’s taught them.

While some of us have an earthly father and some don’t, we all have a heavenly father who shows us His love in helping guide us down difficult paths.

The catch is this. We have to learn to stop and take the time to listen to Him. Much like my kids who rush off as I’m trying to instruct them, we must stop and hear His instructions to us before we run off trying to do it our own way. As we see when our children try and do things without listening to us, they usually end up doing it halfway and we send them back to do it right.

We’re no different. Stop and listen. Pray and read your Bible. God does not promise us an easy life. He promises to always be there and guide us regardless of how tough it gets, providing were willing to listen.

My son, if you receive my words, And treasure my commands within you,
So that you incline your ear to wisdom, [And] apply your heart to understanding;
Yes, if you cry out for discernment, [And] lift up your voice for understanding,
If you seek her as silver, And search for her as [for] hidden treasures;
Then you will understand the fear of the LORD, And find the knowledge of God.
For the LORD gives wisdom; From His mouth [come] knowledge and understanding;
He stores up sound wisdom for the upright; [He is] a shield to those who walk uprightly;
He guards the paths of justice, And preserves the way of His saints.
Then you will understand righteousness and justice, Equity [and] every good path.
When wisdom enters your heart, And knowledge is pleasant to your soul,
Discretion will preserve you; Understanding will keep you,
To deliver you from the way of evil, From the man who speaks perverse things,
From those who leave the paths of uprightness To walk in the ways of darkness;
Who rejoice in doing evil, [And] delight in the perversity of the wicked;
Whose ways [are] crooked, And [who are] devious in their paths;
To deliver you from the immoral woman, From the seductress [who] flatters with her words,
Who forsakes the companion of her youth, And forgets the covenant of her God.
For her house leads down to death, And her paths to the dead;
None who go to her return, Nor do they regain the paths of life–
So you may walk in the way of goodness, And keep [to] the paths of righteousness.
For the upright will dwell in the land, And the blameless will remain in it;
But the wicked will be cut off from the earth, And the unfaithful will be uprooted from it.