A tyrant is an ultimate victim.

Wait, what?

I know.

If you study many of the world’s most famous tyrants you’ll see they all have something in common.

They all suffered from a victim story.

Something happened that hurt them, and they want to ensure they never feel that again.

The end result?

Everyone under their control and in their circle feels that pain.

It’s a sadistic personality trait where they feel pleasure in making sure others feel their pain. If the people can feel the pain they went through, they will understand their “why” and their mission.

And isn’t that what we all want?

We just want people to understand us and what we’re feeling.

What’s the end result?

We become tyrants on some level in our homes, at work, in our families, in our relationships, etc.

Don’t pretend like you’re innocent in this, I know I’m not.

The reality of it is we all have a lot more in common with tyrants like Hitler, Stalin, Castro, er, I mean Trudeau than any one of us would care to admit.

We take all the pain we’ve gone through in life and we project it onto those closest to us on some level. We want to make sure they understand our pain, and on a subconscious level, we make them feel that pain.

Again, I’m not innocent in any of this. You might even call me a hypocrite by saying this…but are you willing to call yourself the same?

So why is this important? Why do we need to understand that we all have common ground with the tyrants that make our lives miserable?

Empathy.

When we understand that given the right circumstances, we could be just as bad, we can have empathy which can guide us to forgiveness.

Some might ask why we should forgive a tyrant, especially one that commits genocide?

Because you’re holding on to that same victim mindset that will make your heart hard, turning you into a tyrant on some other level. If you let that continue, you could end up on that same path.

And that’s exactly what the tyrant wants. Because when you’re heart becomes hard, you understand them on a deeper level than no one else could. This is why tyrants usually work together with other tyrants.

Forgiveness of those who cause us pain is not for them, it’s for us.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean you keep going back if it’s abusive. It means understanding they’re a victim of something they haven’t healed from yet. They’ve not forgiven the event or the person who made them a victim and as a result, are making others a victim of their victimhood.

Once you understand this, you’re left with one question.

On some level, are you being a tyrant to those closest to you?

If you are, it’s probably because you’ve not forgiven the event or those who victimized you, and you’re remaining a victim.

And that’s a hard thing to face because it’s so much easier to point the finger at people and say “you’re victimizing me” than it is to say “I forgive you because I refuse to be your victim”.

Jesus Christ is the ultimate example of this as He was crucified on the cross saying “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do”. Luke 23:34

Jesus was not a victim and paid the ultimate sacrifice for our sins by offering forgiveness to those who had just been torturing him to death.

And yet, some of us are struggling to forgive our spouse for a victim mindset they’re struggling with or forgiving our parents for the victim mindset passed down from their parents.

Jesus Christ set the bar so high that most that bear His name will never make it because of our victim mindsets. But that’s exactly why He died on that cross. To offer us grace and forgiveness of the sins that make us victims, so that we may also forgive others of their victimhood sins and show them the hope and joy we have in Christ.